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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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But wait, it gets better. Outta nowhere, this guy shows up. He’s got a guitar and starts playing. It’s like a scene from a movie! I’m vibing, and suddenly, I’m dancing. Like, full-on twirling in my kimono. I don’t even care who’s watching. It’s just me, the music, and the river.

Wellington hillside fire extinguished